After delivery

As I struggled to regain my awareness, I noticed that James was no longer at my side. I thought maybe he had passed out and was being nursed somewhere else. In reality he was in the nursery with our beautiful Teryn Adleigh.
They had tried to show her to me in the operating room but I was in LaLa Land. I was wheeled in to the recovery room where I would have to spend an hour for observation before I was able to see my daughter for the first time. James came in to see me and tell me how beautiful Teryn is. A nurse I did not know came in and introduced herself and asked me a question. To this day I cannot remember what she asked me. All I remember thinking was 'why is a NICU nurse here and why is she asking me this?' I looked at James and he said, "I didn't want to tell you yet." Tell me WHAT? Apparently as the nurses were cleaning Teryn up she turned blue and stopped breathing. She was immediately sent to the NICU. This nurse Mechelle (who turns out to be one of our angels) was explaining to me that Teryn was having trouble breathing and she would keep us updated on how things were going. She came in again a few minutes later to tell us that they discoverd Teryn has a cleft palate. The only knowledge I knew of clefts was on the lip. I was thinking how this must be a mistake because everyhting was fine in the ultrasounds. I learned that Teryn's cleft is in the roof of her mouth.
I was fianally transferred to my room but still had not seen my daughter. My nurse and Michelle made arrangements for me to be wheeled past the NICU. Once I got there, Michelle came out with Teryn and she was placed in my arms for about 45 seconds before they had to take her back. It was only enough time for them to take a quick snapshot that would be our first family photo. However, when she was placed on my chest she immediately turned in response to my voice and looked at me with the most mazing recognition. She knew I was her mommy and that felt so good. At the same time I knew that my world was being turned upside down in a way I never planned or expected. Teryn had to be immediately taken back in and as soon as she was lifted off my chest she began screaming. It was certainly a mutual feeling as I wanted to do the exact same thing. I had it all planned perfectly and made sure hospital staff had known my birthing plan...after delivery I had wanted to hold her and nurse her as James and I spent our first moments with her alone to bond as a family. That was now an impossibilty.
As I reached my room our families were there with opposite expressions than I had seen just hours before. It was very late and they left us to rest. I was so drugged and more sleepy than I have ever been. Even so, I could not sleep a wink.